Friday, July 18, 2014

Dusting yourself off after failure or disappointment

We've all seen it. After years of training, an Olympic hopeful has a once in a lifetime disaster. At the Barcelona games in 1992, runner Derek Redmond tore his hamstring in the 400 meters semi-final and collapsed to the ground in excruciating pain. At the Sochi games of 2014, Russian cross-country skier,  Anton Gafarov, took a nasty spill, breaking his left ski into pieces. He tried to get up but the mangled mess of wood and plastic made it absolutely impossible for him to finish. In front of their families, their teammates, and the world, these athletes watched as their dreams of gold were shattered into a million pieces. 

But this level of disappointment, the kind that comes out of nowhere, affects more than just Olympic athletes. Such as: After three rounds of interviews, two aptitude tests and a complete background check you get passed over for your dream job for someone far less qualified or after trying to get pregnant for months, you go o a fertility doctor only to discover that you're not able to. You're devastated. You feel as if everything you ever wanted just evaporated in front of you. You wonder if you'll ever land a job that great or if you can learn to accept that you won't be able to experience those precious moments of early motherhood your friends have told you about; like feeling it kick, and watching in amazement as you see it appear on screen for the first time during an ultrasound. 

While you're watching the heartbreaking defeat of those Olympians, feeling as though you want to reach through the TV and personally give each one a hug and some comfort, something unexpected happens. With thousands of cameras flashing, Derek Redmond's father appeared on the track, picked his son up off the ground, and together they limped across the finish line--in last place. Who could forget Canadian ski coach, Justin Wadsworth's quick thinking, as he came to Anton Gafarov's aid with a new ski and helped him get into it? Then Gafarov, like Redmond, was able to hold his head up high and cross the finish line. Though the aspirations of standing on the podium, singing their country's national anthem while being adorned with that precious medal were gone, few would argue that in those moments true courageous champions were forged.

So, what can we learn from these inspiring athletes experiences? Well, no matter how well you prepare yourself, there are times in life when you lose for no reason at all. As our parents used to say, "Sometimes life isn't fair." But it's how we handle defeat that builds character. We have two choices. We can give up...OR we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and try again. How do we do this? You could contact the person you interviewed with at the prospective employer's office and ask them if there was a specific skill you lacked that made them choose another candidate so you could work on it for future opportunities. You never know if he might tell you, "We need someone with experience working with non-profits." So you call a bunch of nonprofits until you find one who has a volunteer position available. You begin volunteering there a few day a week, while continuing your job search. Through a contact at the nonprofit, you learn about an opportunity even better than the one you were passed over for--and you land it!  Or, maybe your fertility doctor puts you in touch with a surrogacy agency and you find a lovely woman to carry a child with both you and your husband's DNA. You both get to be present for the birth, after it's born you fall madly in love him. As soon as you get that beautiful bundle home, you realize that what was lost during the nine months of gestation suddenly doesn't seem as important as you hold your little miracle in your arms.

Next time life knocks you down, and you have the choice of quitting, or picking yourself up; get up and finish the race. If you haven’t quit, you haven’t lost. Life goes on and we must realize what a blessing that really is. Although it might not end up being exactly what you imagined, it just might be even better; and you'll never know until you try.

What's the biggest disappointment you've endured? How did you manage to overcome it? Leave your answer in the comment section down below. 

Much love, 


Jenifer


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*The comments made here are in no way meant to take the place of medical advice from your doctor. If you’re having severe depression you should call 911 or contact the National Substance Abuse and Mental Health Support Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

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