Workplace Stress Part 2

Yesterday, we started looking at some of the things that stress us out at work, that too often spill over to the other aspects of our lives. Today we're going to take a look at another very big source of stress at the workplace.

• Passive/Aggressive Boss or Trouble-making coworker - You would think that by the time we're all adults, people wouldn't insist on acting like children anymore. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. When it comes to miserable people to work with, these are the worst. The passive aggressive boss won't give you constructive criticism when you ask, "I was working on that report you asked me to do, would you mind taking a look at it?" Instead he says, "Well, if I had time to work on it, I would have done it myself, wouldn't I?" So you turn it in as-is and you get a note the next day that says, "This is full of errors. Please correct and send back." The other kind of toxic person to work with is the trouble maker coworker. They take credit for your work. Blame you when they get in trouble for forgetting to take the proposal to the printer for binding. They kiss up to the boss and then gossip about EVERYONE when the boss is not around. You know this person. Unfortunately, it's a little harder to fix this one because most of it is out-of-your-control. What you can do is start documenting everything. If your boss gives you a snide remark, brush it off with a little humor, "I know how busy you are, and I wish I had a magic wand to transfer some of your experience into my brain but I would really appreciate just a few minutes of your time." If he still won't help you, it's time to document your request with date, time, & what was said. Once you have a list, you can go to his boss or your HR person and tell them you have a sensitive problem that you need help with but need to speak in strict confidence. Show your list and see what they say. Maybe 2 other people already complained and that was the straw that broke the camel's back and the boss gets fired. Maybe they can transfer you to another department. Maybe nothing will change. But at least you will know you stepped up and stood up for yourself and now you get to decide what your next move is. When it comes to a toxic coworker, repeat above steps, and go talk to HR if you must. If the gossiping is preventing you from getting your work done, politely ask if they could take their conversation to another area or put on earphones, or find a quiet area to move your desk to and let your manager know that you would like to move your desk and why. 

Now, not every problem can be easily solved. There are tons more things that happen at work--angry customers, computer malfunctions, or accidentally breaking wind in front of your boss. But, the key is to calmly assess which things you can or can't change. If you carefully and methodically work on changing the things that are in your control, it might make those other pesky things seem a bit more manageable. You will feel empowered once you've taken control of your own happiness. That power will carry over to other aspects of your life and it might be contagious and spread an air of optimism and happiness to those around you. You can do it! I know you can! 

Jenifer

If you missed yesterdays post, you can read it by clicking here: Be Your Best U - Workplace Stresses Pt 1

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