Today, I'm 40. It's a weird feeling. I feel like I should feel different, and on some level I guess I do. I was afraid that had I not reached those milestones you set for yourself--owning a house, saving for my children's college, learning how to file my own taxes, losing weight, starting an exercise routine, or saving for retirement, that 40 would bring with it a sense of dread. The realization that time is marching on whether I'm ready or not. That I'm no longer considered a "girl" or even a "gal". Now I'm a woman. I now shop in the "women's" section at the department store, and can officially say that trying to bat my eyelashes to get out of a ticket or paying for drinks gets me nowhere. But, instead, I feel calm acceptance. A state of grace that comes with the passing of time when you know "it's never too late" and "the world won't end if I never learn the difference between a W-2 and a W-4." Today, I care more about loving those I love the very best I can, and I only need to worry about being the person I aspire to be--not who anyone else wants me to be. I'm no longer afraid to voice my opinion, I fight for what's fair, and I can't afford to waste my time with anything less that what I want. So what are the lessons my 40 year old self would tell my 20 year old self?
• You don't have to be afraid of what will happen to you if your boyfriend finds out who you really are. You should be afraid of what will happen to you if he never finds out.
• It's not adorable to pretend to be stupid. Hold your head up high and prove everyone wrong.
• It's far more rewarding to be kind than to be proud.
• If you do would only do something if you were certain that your father and your sons would never find out about it, don't do it. They will find out. They always find out.
• It's okay to say "No." You don't have to go along with the group, trade days off with someone, or agree to take care of your sister's cat for two weeks while she goes to St. Tropez. Embrace the phrase, "I would love to, but, ___."
• Likewise, if you want something, speak up! Ask for what you want. Defend yourself and your conscience. If you don't, who will?
• Remember all those nice guys you ignored or broke up with so you could snag a bad-boy? One of them is the perfect man. Return his calls, agree to a date, tell him your secrets. You'll remember that when you were 9 1/2 you wanted to be a princess, now you are.
• Never stay in a relationship because you're afraid to be alone. Being alone isn't forever. It's being where Prince Charming can find you. Now, I can honestly say that I'm not afraid to be alone. I prefer having a partner, but we both know that if it ended tomorrow, I would be okay. Our relationship is a gift we work on every day. Never take it for granted.
• Spend time with your parents. Call your mom more often. Tell them how much you love them every chance you get. Ask the things you'll wonder about when they're gone. What was your favorite movie when you were young? What did you do when you found out your were pregnant with me? What were YOUR grandparents like?
• Finally....it's never to early to moisturize.
What would you tell your younger self? Got a question or comment? Need help with something? Leave me a note down below and subscribe.
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